For decades I have been writing about people I knew and the places where I lived and worked — the U.S., Somalia, Turkey, India, France, Indonesia. From the sociological research projects I conducted in each of these countries I published articles and for my consulting in international health care programs I wrote reports. For the various volunteer organizations I joined in my retirement years, I wrote descriptions for them of their various projects and helped with their newsletters, then published a book, Tales of Mogadiscio. Now I write for myself, for my blog, in essays rising from the experiences and perspective of an American woman in a cross-cultural marriage who lived for many years as an expatriate wife and mother.
A friend suggested Sans Frontières as the title for my blog. And why not? I like what the phrase suggests and English has no equivalent. Iris Sans Frontières translates literally as Iris without borders, but the meaning is more complex. To me it means moving forward with imagination and a touch of courage. Compassion, too. I can no longer travel and do the things I used to do, but I can continue to learn and communicate with others, sans frontieres. I asked a French friend to translate for me and she replied that given my experience with cultures and people around the world, for me it would mean without limits in my choice of topics and ideas, that I will cross borders, open doors and see what is there on the other side.
UPDATE — January 10, 2017
My son, Arun Kapil, told me I need not be anonymous to my readers. He recently came out of the shadows with an Update on the About page of his blog, Arun with a view. He gave his name, the name of the university from which he received his Ph.D. and of the universities in Paris where he now teaches.
My update is longer and more personal. Arun writes primarily about international matters from the perspective of a professor of political science. My blog is a sociological memoir.
Arun need not mention that he is male, but a woman hasn’t the luxury of gender neutrality. Additionally, I cannot accurately present myself without indicating my age, born in 1930, and my generation. I was the only young woman I knew or knew of who supported herself, working part-time, while attending a major university. I married a foreign student and although our financial situation was precarious, Ravi and I continued on together into graduate school. Married women graduate students were rare; I knew of only one other than myself. Our children were born in 1956 and in 1957. In 1955, the first of Ravi’s brothers came from India to live with us. In 1963, in Somalia, we brought a twelve-year old boy into our family. We moved frequently, both within the States and in other countries. I was a mother and a wife, an expatriate wife in a cross-cultural marriage keeping her professional identity alive through part-time teaching at the university and research projects in the countries where we lived.
My B.A. and M.A. are from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, from 1948 to 1960. During the 1960s I was a Lecturer in the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. We lived in Ankara, Turkey from 1968 to 1972, where I did a research project on rural-urban migration. In 1972 I returned to the States with the two younger kids for them to finish high school and I did one year, 1972-73, in graduate school at the U. of Chicago. In 1975 I received an M.B.A. in Hospital/Health Services from the Kellogg School, Northwestern University and worked for a year in a national pediatric preventive health care program. By 1977 the three kids were in university and Ravi had joined an international organization in Paris, so I moved to Paris to set up our home there and began doing consultancies in rural primary health care programs in developing countries with UNICEF, WHO, OECD, USAID.
In 1995 we retired to Raleigh, North Carolina to be near Ravi’s brothers. I set up our new home and became active in civic organizations until Ravi’s Altzheimer’s took over my life. I am now in my fourth stage of life, in good health, slower than before but still have my wits about me, follow politics and try to keep informed about the rapidly changing world. Ravi is gone. I will never again see my friends from other countries and those few in the States live far away. I don’t want to bore my kids and my young friends, so I write. It is what I enjoy doing and the marvel of the internet provides information for learning more about the people and places I experienced through the years. I find that exciting and the writing grounds me.
Update — June 20, 2022
It’s been a long while since I’ve written a blog post. I will soon turn 92 years old. Should I write about being this age? I will consider that seriously and return soon if I decide I have something to say that is of interest to anyone other than myself.
For more about me, see the introduction to my blog here.
To contact me — irissansfrontieres@yahoo.com
For me, it is stories about people and events that teach me about the world. Iris was quite unusual for her time…she was a woman who got involved in the lives of people, issues and communities; places where women did not usually tread! I enjoy her stories and admire her courage. Bravo Iris! I look forward to more tales!
Ms. Kapil, your memoirs are quite interesting as you recount aspects of people with whom you have intertwined your life and cultures of which you have tasted. Truly anthropology is one of the most valuable endeavors of life, and university life can provide such an enjoyably binding experience!
Your stories provide a window into the Somalia (and Mogadishu) that was……and may be again. Thank you for taking the time to record your memories of a far off place in a time past.